Decisions Set Up Decisions

It doesn’t matter how carefully a first draft is crafted or how well the foundation is built, there are changes between the drafts. Loose ends to tie up. Redundancies to eliminate. Plots to tighten. Dialog to clarify. Sometimes names and locations get changed, too.

In other words, everything is subject to change.

With a first draft written literally by the seat of the pants, changes are to be expected. A lot of them!

Even so, I was disappointed to have what looked like a swift second draft of Saving Grace bog down one week into the process. It went from bad to worse through the second week until everything came to screeching halt on Wednesday, January 13. A day of pondering and I got started again in a direction that diverged so much from the first draft that I set up some new documents and saved the old ones … just in case.

That was followed by a couple of days of renewed energy and writing before that, too, bogged down then stopped altogether.

Unsure what the real problem was but certain that it wasn’t just character names or logistics, I consulted my inhouse consultant; Neal. As is the usual habit, I sat in a chair in the kitchen and poured out my woes while he cooked up some gourmet chicken noodle soup.

And, as usually happens, insight resulted. But it didn’t all come from Neal.

In the course of the discussion, it became clear that I’d strayed from the original intent quite early in the process. In fact, when I later reviewed the story journal, I found that on the second or third entry, even before writing began, I’d made one of those decisions everyone faces sooner or later: Do I do the more interesting thing or the easier thing?

I chose the easier thing and that single decision set up how the rest of the story developed. Each subsequent decision led me further away from original intent until I reached the end of the first draft and was startled to see that I hadn’t written the story I’d set out to write. In fact, they were so different, I could see writing the original story as a companion story.

Cool!, I remember thinking at the time. Two for the price of one.

Except that the further the second draft went, the less viable it became and the less satisfied I became.

The result of my discussion with Neal was that I stopped everything and thought about the story I’d written and the story I wanted to write.

Since I believed with all my heart, mind and soul that God planted the original idea, I also thought about how well I’d stayed true to that original vision. The answer was disheartening. I’d taken the easy way out in making a decision early in the process. That decision of convenience was followed by others until the original vision was lost and I had a watered down story.

The kitchen table discussion took place on January 18.

January 19 was spent with a lot of meditation and seeking guidance through prayer. I also read through the story journal and looked for notations where I’d used phrases like “easier”, “more comfortable”, “nicer” or “less troublesome” when referring to plot alternatives. I found a lot of those. Too many to make me feel good about my decision-making process or my willingness to do what God asks of me no matter what.

Interestingly enough, I also found repeated notations in which I felt like the story was going off course almost from the beginning. I just didn’t know where or how back then.

On January 20, I went back to the drawing board, convicted of the fact that I’d made bad decisions and determined to do everything over the right way this time. I went back to step one of the snowflake design and wrote a new one-sentence summary.

It hasn’t been easy, for the most part. Steering my mind away from the ‘established pattern’ of the first draft has been a challenge that has led me to a change of venue for the story and to a change of name for the male lead. That also necessitated rewriting his background and history and may lead to changes in the female lead’s background and history as well.

Today, I worked on Steps Three through Eight of the snowflake, reviewing previous work and doing new work. The further I go along this course, the more energy I feel for writing the story. I don’t yet think I’m ready to begin writing, but as the process advances to higher and higher levels of development, I am beginning see scenes and sequences taking shape.

It seems to be shaping up nicely and more completely than either of the previous versions (first draft or two partial second drafts). I like what I’m doing, too, and that is always a good thing.

The interesting thing is that I can see a more complete picture of this story even though writing has yet to begin, than I’m able to see of the completed first draft, even though a printed copy of the first draft is bound and sitting beside my reading chair.

I would like to think I can see and properly recognize those crucial decisions more clearly in hind sight. I’m also hopeful that I’ll be able to spot them more easily the next time they loom on the horizon. But I’m not confident in my ability to learn that lesson once and remember it forever. So rather than rush ahead blindly on every decision, I’ll explore each one as completely on paper as possible, I’ll take a couple of days to review and ponder and I’ll pray about everything – large and small – before doing anything. And I’ll not only invite God to participate in every decision; I’ll remind myself to be still and wait.

Yes, it will slow the process down, but every decision made will define the decisions made later. It’s better to take a little time, get as many facts as possible and let the dust settle before making a decision than it is to rush through everything and end up rewriting chapters, sections or the entire story at a later date.

That works for life, too; not just writing.

LORD, teach me to wait.